venerdì 22 gennaio 2016

Riflessioni che stringono il cuore

Camminando per la strada mi passa accanto una bella signora, giovane in un corpo inerme su una sedia a rotelle, spinta da una donna assente ed annoiata. Passano velocemente, ma lentamente arriva su di me un velo di tristezza, tristezza che mi porto dietro da giorni.



Dal lato opposto, dei bambini che ridono felici nel parco. Si sente il loro parlare e il loro giocare a pallone. Lo stesso sole che illumina le loro manine indaffarate a scalare uno scivolo, scalda anche quel viso assente ed immobile della signora appena passata.

Quella donna passandomi accanto ha gettato un velo su di me, un velo fitto di pensieri. Pensieri che tornano troppo spesso, pensieri che corrono veloci mentre io rallento. Penso alla malattia, alla morte e a quanta impotenza abbiamo di fronte a quel momento.  Quel momento che ti strappa il cuore e ti lascia con mille domande che bucano e rimbombano. Domande alle quali nessuno darà risposta. Quel momento ti inchioda alla tua vita che sembra non aver più senso e ti paralizza. La rabbia urla in silenzio. Cerchi in vano una giustizia che non c'è, una ragione che non ha la facoltà di pensare. Pensi a chi rimane stringendosi nel dolore, al tuo sentirti inadeguato sia negli slanci che nei silenzi. Fai pensieri grandi, troppo grandi, il senso della vita, una vita appesa ad un filo che non ha per tutti la stessa lunghezza.

Perché qualcuno può avere il privilegio di continuare a crescere insieme ai propri nipoti mentre altri non vedranno grandi neanche i propri figli?

Ogni volta che ti confronti con quel momento arriva avvolgente la paura, la paura che succeda a te e che faccia soffrire le persone che ami. Poi pensi che quelle persone che ami meritano il tuo sorriso e allora prometti di andare oltre e di stringere a te le cose che contano, quelle piccole cose a cui non diamo mai il giusto valore.

La vita ci mette a dura prova portandoci via parte del nostro presente, ci carica le tasche di ansie e timori. Che ci piaccia o no siamo costretti ad imparare che la durezza degli eventi sgretola certezze e progetti. Siamo costretti ad accettare di raccogliere quei frammenti, proseguire e ritrovare il sorriso. Quel sorriso che vive negli attimi e che il tempo ci aiuta a ritrovare.  Non devo dimenticarmi mai di assaporare l'ordinario e di essere grata per quello che ho anche quando la notizia mi getta nello sconforto. Ci vuole sempre del tempo per metabolizzare il dolore, è giusto che sia così. Fa bene raccoglierlo, stringerlo, bagnarlo per poi lentamente lasciarlo andare. La fragilità della vita dovrebbe aiutarmi ad apprezzare meglio il presente. Quando la tristezza mi sovrasta dovrei trovare la forza di trasformarla, concentrandoci su quello che rimane. Vorrei poter insegnare alla mie figlie che la vita è cambiamento e che bisogna viverlo nei migliore dei modi.  Mi sono trovata a dire che la felicità è anche una scelta personale, oggi non ne sono certa ma domani farò in modo di scegliere ancora, scegliere il sorriso e la gentilezza che scalda il cuore delle persone che amo.







55 commenti:

  1. Questi sono pensieri che capitano anche a me.

    Un abbraccio

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  2. Talvolta quando mi fermo a riflettere sulla caducità del tutto vengo sopraffatta dai tuoi stessi pensieri e fatico a ritrovare il centro in me stessa e un equilibrio interiore che mi permetta di proseguire a vivere la vita con pienezza.

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